“Princess Deborah” (my friend and prayer partner) and I had repented of our ways, and were on the rebuild of our lives, starting with our boundaries. We didn’t even know what boundaries were. All we knew was, that we had to rebuild like Nehemiah did.
The Lord was VERY interested in what we were doing. He was right behind us in our endeavours. When we needed information about “building the wall”, we asked Him for help. The information was going to be hard to come by, we thought. It was the nineties, and we didn’t have the internet. Coincidentally two friends who didn’t know each other, and didn’t know what we’d asked for, brought me a book and tapes, before the week was out. I could see that the Lord was in the work. He told me when people come to Him in faith asking Him for help in anything touching His will, He delights in it.
So we went to work. Nehemiah rebuilt the walls around Jerusalem in 52 days, but it took us longer than that. The day came when I’d had enough of working on boundaries, and wanted to get on with other stuff in the Kingdom. I headed around to Deborah’s and what did I see? A big pile of rocks her husband had bought down from Taupo for landscaping. Yes, it was a big sign to tell us to keep on with the work!
Boundaries are important because having them gives control over your life, it enables you to say “yes” to the good and “no” the bad. People without boundaries are often compliant and can’t say no, and they attract controlling people who can’t hear no. You know, the ones who if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. This is what happened to me and my friend “Princess Deborah”.
The Bible says “He that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.” Proverbs 25:28 The Lord wants us, with His help, to have rule over our own spirit.
The book I was loaned is called “Boundaries” by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend. It was really helpful. I can now say the word no without feeling guilt, and I can now recognise and deal with controlling people. No is a great word! The tapes were also really helpful but I can’t tell you who did them, I gave them back years ago. I did take notes and wrote down some very telling extracts in the next chapter, Chapter 23 Rebuilding the wall.
I’ve also found a good sermon on Nehemiah, Rebuilding Spiritual Walls – by Ocean Drive Presbyterian Church, North Myrtle Beach, SC. If you have 1/2 an hour its worth listening to.