There is a proverb that says “Do not say, “I’ll do to them as they have done to me; I’ll pay them back for what they did.” Proverbs 24:29
In the world, it may seem better and logical to hurt people back. In New Zealand the Maori word for it is ‘utu’. Before Christianity came with the light of the Kingdom, the Maori had never ending tribal warfare. They had no word for forgiveness.
In the Lord’s prayer it says “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them who trespass against us.” Its so hard to do, but it does bring peace, if we can do it. I know that sometimes only God can give us the ability to do it.
Forgiveness is not saying what the offender did was okay. Forgiveness is not inviting victim-hood. You don’t need to let the offender back into your life. Nor do you need to trust them. Trust is earned.
Cherry, one of the characters in my book owed me a big apology. I can’t even remember if I got it now. It doesn’t matter, I forgave her, I chose not to let her back into my life, and I moved on.