The Princess told herself it was better to be alone than be with someone who made her feel alone. She settled into a routine in her life, seeing Princess Deborah, who she liked, every other day and joining the circle of friends every week for fellowship and a shared meal.
One night at the weekly gathering the Bright One said; “Do you think that this is all the King has for you? Daughter of the King, he is your Father. When the little Princess gives you a hug, you always reciprocate. The Father wants you to receive, without having to reciprocate.”
She shrugged. Her immediate reaction was; ‘I don’t know how.’ Afterwards the Princess thought long and hard about that. Sometimes in her story the King was ‘Father’, in a formal way. Mostly he was the King, the Lord; to be loved, obeyed, and even feared. But like a real father? What is a real Father?
Her relationship with her earthly father had not been a happy one. He was a pessimist with a negative view of women. Her parents would beat or ignore her while growing up, especially when left by her ill mother to fend for herself. Even in the midst of a family of eight she felt alone.
The Princess went to the King. “This Father/Daughter thing … I do not know how to relate to you in that way. Could we not keep it as …” she trailed off. “As … what?” the King asked compassionately. “I am happy to be a servant” she offered.
“The foundation has to be built on the Father/Daughter relationship” He insisted.
When she was on her own the dragon appeared, clothed in invisibility and disguised as ‘thought.’ He was so rational as he brought up the issue of her brother’s death. “How can you rely on him as a father, when he let your only brother die?” She didn’t want to listen to the dragon, but it was true. The King had been deaf to their pleas for help.
She buried her head in her arms, put her hands to her ears, and cried; “Stop! Just stop it.” She got up and faced him down. “You did that, Satan. That was your work. My Mother was right when she felt he’d been murdered. You persecuted him. I saw the confusion, the attack on his mind, will, and emotions. You hounded him to death” she replied crying bitterly.
“Yes, and only three weeks after his baptism” he smirked. “You know I can only do what the King permits me to do.” He carried on his attack as he laughed and mocked. Unable to face him any longer, she held her shield over her head and body then reached for her sword.
The Bright One was near where she was fighting this dragon. “Help, I am wrestling with this thing” she called to him.
The Bright One did not help her with it. “You are angry with the King!” he stated.
“What? Help me, don’t judge me! Where are you?” she thought. She knew then that she was on her own. The fight with the dragon, the lack of compassion, the weight of being judged, and the loneliness of her fight wore her out. Clang! Her shield rattled from another attempted blow by the Dragon, but the one that felled her came from the club wielded by the Bright One.
Afterwards, she went to the King. She threw down her badly dented shield and smoking armour. “Please, I can’t deal with being your daughter. Isn’t it enough that you have my love? I ask you to forgive me. If I take up my place in your Kingdom as your daughter, the dragon will come back. He will fight me with logic which I do not have an answer for. There is no remedy for my pain, except to choose not to go there.”
The King’s eyes mirrored her hurt. He sighed. “I am not asking you to give what you do not have. It is not about what I need, it is about what you need. I want to give to you. I want to show you how to receive what will be given. The dragon wants to cheat you out of your inheritance”.
“My inheritance?” she blurted out confused. No-one had taught her this.
The King replied “I am giving you the spirit of adoption so you can call me Father”. Romans 8:15
Moved and mystified, the Princess said “I believe you want me to see something I am blind to. I thought salvation was enough. I have a long way to go in my understanding of you.”