The King helped roll the stones away. He was going to remove the voice of the legalistic parent saying she was bad, and replace it with the voice of grace. “I desire mercy, not sacrifice” He told her. The Princess wondered what that meant.
“God desires compassion, and not sacrifice.” Matthew 9:13
The Princess had been taught as a child that it was bad to set boundaries or say no, and as a consequence believed that others could do with her as they wished. She was sent defenceless into a world of controlling, manipulative, and exploitative people. Her ability to say no was blocked, and it handicapped her for life. She said yes to bad things, through fear of disobeying a harsh conscience.
It made her unable to confront others, because it caused guilt. Not only did it keep her from refusing evil in her life, it often kept her from recognising evil. Her spiritual and emotional radar was broken; giving her no ability to guard her heart.
“Your ‘no’ muscles were paralysed” the King explained. The Princess nodded unhappily. It was true. Whenever she needed to protect herself by saying no, the word caught in her throat. In the absence of a protective role model her harsh conscience became the unbiblical and critical internal parent. “People who have an over strict, critical conscience will condemn themselves for things I myself do not condemn them for” the King said.
The King who desired compassion, not sacrifice promised. “I will show you how to replace sacrifice with compassion. Your “yes” will be yes, and your no will be “no”. You will be compassionate; compliant from the inside out, not sacrificial; compliant on the outside and resentful on the inside.”
Wanting what the King promised, the Princess removed the mask she used to hide her feelings behind, wiped her tears away and nodded in agreement.