Have you ever read the verses in the Bible about women submitting themselves to their husbands? It’s in Ephesians 5:21-33. The narcissist quoted it in an attempt to get authority over me. (Chapter 4 Warning). Its really useful for control freaks.
It made me want to puke. I found the verses really demeaning. I thought if that was what Christian marriage entailed, I didn’t want it. I told myself I was happier being alone than being a second class citizen in my own home. It was stopping me from having a chance at a happy marriage.
I’m not a feminist, although my daughter thinks I am. If a man holds a door open for me or shows deference to me I see that as respect and thank him for his lovely manners. However I will not tolerate male chauvinism or sexism or being talked down to. I believe men and women should be treated with respect.
What concerned me were these offending passages in the Bible by the apostle Paul. I still consider him a complete chauvinist. But one Sunday our Pastor, a big Samoan guy, redeemed the subject by preaching on it. This what he said;
“What is the spirit of Christ? It is the spirit of submission. In marriage, it is for the man to lay down his life for the woman.” It means the husband has to put his wife first. He has to lay down his life, to sacrifice for his wife, just as Christ sacrificed Himself for us. He went on to say that the wife would naturally submit to any man when the love is there, and call her husband ‘Lord’.
I didn’t have any problems with what he said, and am sharing it here in the hope it may help other couples. So many churches have mishandled this subject. There has been so much misunderstanding.
The pastor’s correct teaching and handling of the subject helped me make my third wish.
The earlier wishes are here: